Drunk Midget Humping…Only in China?

So it has been quite a long time since the blog has been updated and we apologize for the delay. However in the time that we have not posted there have been some very interesting events that have gone down.

Most notably was one that occurred just the other night. My good friend Tommy had 2 friends visiting him from Scotland. This was going to be the first trip for these Scottish fellows and Tommy wanted them to have a proper first evening in China.

Naturally we go out for Chinese BBQ, which of course included an all you can drink buffet. I’m not sure if it was the jetlag because I naturally assume that Scottish men can drink quite a bit, but these 2 guys just got totally wasted.

After dinner we decided the night would not be complete without a visit to a very local club that has very few foreigners. When we arrived at the club, the 2 young lads were puking in the bushes and falling all over themselves.

Finally one of them decides that he wants to sleep NOW, so he begins to lay down on the filthy street of China right outside the club doors. I found this amusing, but this nothing too special.

Anyway, about a minute after we are trying to convince the guy to let us help him into a cab to bring him back to the hotel, a homeless midget walks buy and begins to ask for money. He is dressed in dirty ass clothes, smoking a cigarette, and wearing a huge grin on his face. When he notices the guy on the ground not getting up he immediately jumps on top of him and starts humping him and screaming nonsense into his ear.

All of us watching this are bursting with laughter. For a good 2 minutes we get a kick out and take multiple pictures to post on facebook and later humiliate this Scottish dude. After finally removing the midget from our friend’s ass, and getting rid of the crowd of onlookers that formed to watch this poor kid getting molested on the street we get the kid up on his feet. The only words that can come from my mouth are, “Welcome to China man. I hope you had a memorable first night.”