My misconception when I first arrived here was that Chinese women were so up tight and they would never engage in public “lewd acts.” How wrong I was…
I have had my girlfriend for 3 months and the public displays of affection are totally different in terms of China and the US. In the US I was able to put my hand in the back pocket of her jeans and squeeze her butt with no problem. In China the most I will get in terms of PDA is probably handholding and maybe a peck on the lips.
Last week I was at a bar with my girlfriend and because she had work early in the morning she wanted to get home at a reasonable time. This meant I had to drink as much as I could quickly! Around midnight she was ready to leave and being the gentlemen that I am, I accompanied her back to her apartment.
In the taxi I was suddenly feeling the affects of the alcohol and had the sudden urge to have sex in a public place aka the taxi backseat. (When I get drunk I have no fear and try to push the limits as much as possible.)
I asked her if she was willing to have sex in the taxi but she bluntly refused me. Then I asked her if she would give me head and she smirked and began laughing. As soon as I saw the smile I knew she was considering it. I didn’t even say another word….I just pulled out my “ji ba” and she knew what to do.
Although I didn’t have actual sex, this was still a small step in breaking the barriers of the no-public sex stigma in China. Before I arrived here and got to know the people, I would have never guessed that Chinese girls would engage in a public sexual act. Obviously China is a modernizing country, but it is still a repressed sexual society…porn is illegal here!
The whole ride back to the apartment I was just staring out the window soaking up the moment. Chinese character neon signs whizzing by, the mishmash of BMW’s and bicycles on the road, and a beautiful girl going down on me.
Is public sex something anyone else has experienced or is this just new to me?
FYI...for all those hiphop heads download the new Cam’ron joint: Kiatey
I want someone to write a rap song like that about Asian girls.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Drunk Midget Humping…Only in China?
So it has been quite a long time since the blog has been updated and we apologize for the delay. However in the time that we have not posted there have been some very interesting events that have gone down.
Most notably was one that occurred just the other night. My good friend Tommy had 2 friends visiting him from Scotland. This was going to be the first trip for these Scottish fellows and Tommy wanted them to have a proper first evening in China.
Naturally we go out for Chinese BBQ, which of course included an all you can drink buffet. I’m not sure if it was the jetlag because I naturally assume that Scottish men can drink quite a bit, but these 2 guys just got totally wasted.
After dinner we decided the night would not be complete without a visit to a very local club that has very few foreigners. When we arrived at the club, the 2 young lads were puking in the bushes and falling all over themselves.
Finally one of them decides that he wants to sleep NOW, so he begins to lay down on the filthy street of China right outside the club doors. I found this amusing, but this nothing too special.
Anyway, about a minute after we are trying to convince the guy to let us help him into a cab to bring him back to the hotel, a homeless midget walks buy and begins to ask for money. He is dressed in dirty ass clothes, smoking a cigarette, and wearing a huge grin on his face. When he notices the guy on the ground not getting up he immediately jumps on top of him and starts humping him and screaming nonsense into his ear.
All of us watching this are bursting with laughter. For a good 2 minutes we get a kick out and take multiple pictures to post on facebook and later humiliate this Scottish dude. After finally removing the midget from our friend’s ass, and getting rid of the crowd of onlookers that formed to watch this poor kid getting molested on the street we get the kid up on his feet. The only words that can come from my mouth are, “Welcome to China man. I hope you had a memorable first night.”
Most notably was one that occurred just the other night. My good friend Tommy had 2 friends visiting him from Scotland. This was going to be the first trip for these Scottish fellows and Tommy wanted them to have a proper first evening in China.
Naturally we go out for Chinese BBQ, which of course included an all you can drink buffet. I’m not sure if it was the jetlag because I naturally assume that Scottish men can drink quite a bit, but these 2 guys just got totally wasted.
After dinner we decided the night would not be complete without a visit to a very local club that has very few foreigners. When we arrived at the club, the 2 young lads were puking in the bushes and falling all over themselves.
Finally one of them decides that he wants to sleep NOW, so he begins to lay down on the filthy street of China right outside the club doors. I found this amusing, but this nothing too special.
Anyway, about a minute after we are trying to convince the guy to let us help him into a cab to bring him back to the hotel, a homeless midget walks buy and begins to ask for money. He is dressed in dirty ass clothes, smoking a cigarette, and wearing a huge grin on his face. When he notices the guy on the ground not getting up he immediately jumps on top of him and starts humping him and screaming nonsense into his ear.
All of us watching this are bursting with laughter. For a good 2 minutes we get a kick out and take multiple pictures to post on facebook and later humiliate this Scottish dude. After finally removing the midget from our friend’s ass, and getting rid of the crowd of onlookers that formed to watch this poor kid getting molested on the street we get the kid up on his feet. The only words that can come from my mouth are, “Welcome to China man. I hope you had a memorable first night.”
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Chinese Business Insights from a Foreigner
I got my China Business Dinner cherry popped! So one of my friends asked me if I would do his family friend a favor. The family friend named “Li” is starting a handbag line and was having a dinner meeting with a potential distributor. Li wants to create a façade that he is handbags are very “western.” I was going to join them at dinner as Li’s head fashion designer.
Of course I have no design experience, but we created a whole back story ( I graduated from FIT, worked for Polo for 3 years, then moved to China this summer) and I even had my own business card! The best part was that Li’s potential business partner spoke zero English and I had to pretend I spoke very minimal Chinese. Li didn’t want to run the risk of him asking me too many questions and fucking up the business meeting.
. Li was accompanied by his wife, and the distributor was accompanied by his wife and another woman that worked for the man’s company. Upon sitting down at the seafood restaurant, the 2 men went to the backroom to order our meal for the night. I could see that Li’s wife was also an important figure in terms of the business dinner. She was responsible for engaging the 2 women in dialogue and making sure they were having a good time. The table was essentially divided between men and women.
Throughout the whole dinner I smile and look pretty. I throw in some random Chinese words like, “Gan Bei!” and the table roars with laughter. Essentially I play my part as the token white guy in China. I am pretending I don’t understand anything going on, but I was secretly paying very close attention. He was whispering to Li about my position and asking multiple questions about my what I was doing.
There was ZERO mention of business at the table. I assume some business was discussed when the 2 men went to the back to order because they were gone for roughly 10 minutes and I know it doesn’t take that long to order food. Both men were smoking voraciously and they took turns exchanging cigarettes and lighting each other’s cigarettes. I think it was a bonding-friendship thing.
What I learned was this night was that Chinese businessmen will go to extreme lengths to create a façade and develop relationships. Basically, the means justify the ends. Li was directly lying to this distributor, but as long as he never finds out its ok. I just wonder how far this little game of cat and mouse actually goes. Overall this was a very valuable experience and gave me insight into how locals conduct dinner with each other. Now if Chinese are willing to cheat other Chinese when money is on the table, I wonder how far these “white lies” go with foreigners?
Of course I have no design experience, but we created a whole back story ( I graduated from FIT, worked for Polo for 3 years, then moved to China this summer) and I even had my own business card! The best part was that Li’s potential business partner spoke zero English and I had to pretend I spoke very minimal Chinese. Li didn’t want to run the risk of him asking me too many questions and fucking up the business meeting.
. Li was accompanied by his wife, and the distributor was accompanied by his wife and another woman that worked for the man’s company. Upon sitting down at the seafood restaurant, the 2 men went to the backroom to order our meal for the night. I could see that Li’s wife was also an important figure in terms of the business dinner. She was responsible for engaging the 2 women in dialogue and making sure they were having a good time. The table was essentially divided between men and women.
Throughout the whole dinner I smile and look pretty. I throw in some random Chinese words like, “Gan Bei!” and the table roars with laughter. Essentially I play my part as the token white guy in China. I am pretending I don’t understand anything going on, but I was secretly paying very close attention. He was whispering to Li about my position and asking multiple questions about my what I was doing.
There was ZERO mention of business at the table. I assume some business was discussed when the 2 men went to the back to order because they were gone for roughly 10 minutes and I know it doesn’t take that long to order food. Both men were smoking voraciously and they took turns exchanging cigarettes and lighting each other’s cigarettes. I think it was a bonding-friendship thing.
What I learned was this night was that Chinese businessmen will go to extreme lengths to create a façade and develop relationships. Basically, the means justify the ends. Li was directly lying to this distributor, but as long as he never finds out its ok. I just wonder how far this little game of cat and mouse actually goes. Overall this was a very valuable experience and gave me insight into how locals conduct dinner with each other. Now if Chinese are willing to cheat other Chinese when money is on the table, I wonder how far these “white lies” go with foreigners?
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